What is Relationship Coaching
What is Coaching?
According to the International Coaching Federation, "Coaching is collaborating with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential. Professional coaches provide an ongoing partnership designed to help clients produce fulfilling results in their personal and professional lives. Coaches help people improve their performance and enhance the quality of their lives."
Okay, I know the above definition is kind of dry. Perhaps you'll like the following, more heart-felt definitions, which I think capture the essence of the way I aspire to coach:
"Coaches help people choose and pursue a destiny that echoes with their soul." - Barb Elgin
"Coaches help people walk towards what they fear (like those courageous citizens ready to help the effort followed the drum beats of the military band on the back lines of the battlefields during the Civil War)." - Ben Dean
"Coaches help their clients nurture untapped possibilities." - Ben Dean
Ben also talks about coaching being like mentoring, which includes guarding, guiding, teaching, counseling and protecting, which flows out of a coaching relationship that is based on affection and trust. This reminds me of what I consider to be coaching's biggest similarity to psychotherapy. Like studies into the effectiveness of psychotherapy, I believe research into coaching's effectiveness will find that it is most successful when it focuses on three important aspects: helping the client(s) make the most of the resources they already have and discover, helping clients believe they can succeed and creating a relationship alliance that fosters their success.
What is Relationship Coaching?
Relationship Coaching is a subspecialty within the Coaching Profession. According to the Relationship Coaching Institute, "Relationship coaching is a professional client-focused service where an individual or couple is assumed to be healthy, powerful, and able to achieve relationship goals with effective support, information, and guidance."
Is There Any Difference Between Coaching and Therapy?
You bet there is! There are significant and sometimes contrasting differences between therapy and coaching, and these differences in and of themselves better highlight the strengths of coaching. The chart below compares Coaching vs. Therapy:
| Therapy |
Coaching |
| Assumes the client needs healing |
Assumes the client is whole |
| Roots in medicine, psychiatry |
Roots in sports, business, personal growth venues |
| Works with people to achieve self-understanding and emotional healing |
Works to move people to a higher level of functioning |
| Focuses on feelings, past events, diagnosis and treatment of emotional concerns |
Focuses on actions and the future |
| Explores the root of problems |
Focuses on solving problems |
| Works to bring the unconscious into consciousness |
Works with the conscious mind |
| Works for internal resolution of pain and to let go of old patterns |
Works for external solutions to overcome barriers, learn new skills and implement effective choices |
Adapted from Hayden and Whitworth, 1995
Why HIring a Coach Who Is (or Has Been) a Therapist or Clinical Social Worker is a Bonus for You
In addition to coaching, I've been a licensed clinical social worker (LCSW) for over 15 years. Social work has many subspecialties, including my strongest area of experience - providing psychotherapeutic and/or mental health services. Did you know that there are more social workers providing therapy services in the United States than any other mental health profession? And that social workers with a master's degree often have had more 'hands on' experience assessing and treating clients while in training than any other mental health discipline?
I bring a variety of strengths and value to coaching you that come from my therapy experience and training. Strengths such as skillful listening, a non-judgmental attitude, respect for your right of self-determination, wholistic assessment, an understanding of psychodynamics, an understanding of psychotropics, the ability to help you discover your strengths and goals, think of possibilities and seek solutions, a talent of incorporating into coaching conversations a wide variety of perspectives and helping traditions that increase awareness, provide fresh insights, inspire action and much more. This background, along with my specialized relationship coach training with the Relationship Coaching Institute has prepared me well for helping you with your singles, dating and relationship concerns.
What is the Difference Between Relationship Coaching, Relationship Information and Education and Relationship Advice?
Relationship Coaching starts when you register for one or more of our coaching programs. Relationship Coaching is a professional service (see definitions above). Relationship Information and Education could include events such as our tele-samplers, articles, posts on our blog, information given during our podcasts, etc. Relationship Advice is not usually something a relationship coach offers.
Coach Sappho remains neutral about relationship advice. Sometimes relationship advice, particularly as dispensed by unlicensed individuals that is informative and/or entertaining, is helpful, but you are the consumer and you need to decide what is best for you. We do suggest you proceed with caution or 'take with a grain of salt' relationship advice in general, particularly if the source is not specifically trained and/or licensed. The internet is full of so-called advice, information and entertainment on the subject of love and romance. Relationship advice is often too general or 'out of context' for much of your use. Relationship Coaching however, is specific to you and your situation. Relationship Coaching helps clients more clearly and purposely think, feel and act for themselves rather than giving them simplistic 'answers'.
Why Would You Consider Relationship Coaching?
Simply put: relationship coaching is a priceless investment that will positively change the course of your life and your relationships from this day forward! Relationship coaching is an opportunity to become more aware of your 'blind spots' - those invisible obstacles that get between you and what you desire - and render them truly invisible!
Imagine what it would feel like to be living a more satisfying life; whether you are single or with a significant other. If you are currently single, envision celebrating your 10th wedding anniversary with the woman of your dreams. If you are already in a relationship that's 'flatlined', imagine recapturing the feelings you had for your partner at a better time. Or, imagine deepening the great feelings you already have for your partner or avoiding some potentially difficult times because you made sure your relationship stayed healthy.
Conversely, imagine your life in 10 years if you hadn't changed course or met Coach Sappho. Will you have known what it takes to decide WHICH woman to commit your life to? How many relationships will you have 'burned through'? Will you know how to handle being single should that happen to you? Will your 10th anniversary be grand or ho-hum? You get to decide…
How Singles, Dating and Relationship Coaching Works at Coach Sappho
Singles, Dating and Relationship Coaching at Coach Sappho is available to you from the comfort and privacy of your home, individually and/or in group settings, by telephone as well as in 'learn on your own' formats via e-courses, audios, e-books, etc.
In addition, Coach Sappho offers a number of in person events, including…
- Workshops and retreats (customized for the audience - they could be 90 minute presentations, half day workshops, full day workshops or weekend retreats)·
- Social networking events (customized for the audience - examples are singles mingles, speed dating, couples mingles, etc.)
Coaching as a helping method assumes the client is the expert; is fully capable of achieving his or her goals and focuses on supporting a client into action. Our coaching is always provided to our clients in a very respectful, confidential, caring and competent manner.
For descriptions of currently available offerings, click here.
Whether you are…
- single and loving it (or hating it)
- dating
- thinking about moving in with the woman you've been seeing
- engaged (or considering it)
- happily (or unhappily) married to another woman (or otherwise share some form of legal agreement(s) or commitment(s) to another woman)
- a lesbian parent/parents
- coming out of a relationship or recently single
- tired of investing yourself in relationships that haven't lasted or brought you the happiness you intended
Coach Sappho is ready to engage you in a process of self discovery, goal planning and skills development that will help you get what YOU want in life and in love, without giving up who you are, and, if you are in a committed relationship, without giving up that relationship. In fact we like to say it like this…
Coach Sappho works to prevent singles from committing too soon and committed couples from giving up too fast. It has been noted that one of the strengths of relationship coaching is its focus on preserving committed relationships, if at all possible.All of our programs are created to help our clients live more satisfying, authentic, less fear-based lives. The clarity we help our clients develop about their dreams and goals, the support we give our clients for living their best life and the relationship skills we teach our clients helps them deal more openly, honestly, calmly and courageously with the inevitable challenges of living and loving over the long haul.
Here are some of the unique aspects of each coaching programming we offer:
Our singles and dating programs teach singles seeking a life partner…
- the secrets to and importance of living a successful single life
- all the elements of lesbian dating that will lead one to forming an exclusive pre-committed relationship that has a higher than average likelihood of becoming a committed relationship
Our couples programming…
- teaches the vital difference between commitment and pre-commitment as well as the value of commitment
- helps pre-committed couples decide whether or not to move towards commitment
- actively supports newly committed couples in getting their relationship off on the right foot
- coaches established committed couples to develop the behaviors and attitudes that will keep their relationship vibrant and strong
- supports individuals for maintaining healthy individuality within their relationship
Click here to learn the ''STAGES OF COACH SAPPHO'S RELATIONSHIP COACHING PROGRAM'.
Click here to read what clients of Coach Sappho have to say about relationship coaching.
Ready to learn more?
I know you're ready to experience coaching. If so, I would like to offer you a five minute, complimentary telephone discussion to explore how we could 'work and play' together to help you find, create and/or grow the life and relationship you desire. Click here now to email Barb Elgin to arrange your complimentary discussion NOW. This is a 'time limited' offer, so, be sure you take advantage today.
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