Are you lonely tonight?

07 Aug

The topic of loneliness is one we don't talk about enough.  Given the problems we are seeing with those who become violent in our society, loneliness is a very important topic to delve into more deeply.

I am reminded to finish this piece as I see a friend on Facebook posting it had already been one week since her beloved dog passed.  I know she is a single gal who has two other dogs and she's single, much like me, older now, gay and finding ourselves putting our love into our animals.

Grief is a layer that can go on top of loneliness.  So it's like a double gut punch.  For example, I can't even begin to imagine what the survivors and victims in El Paso and Dayton are feeling right this moment.  However, you can be sure that some aren't getting the support they need so if you become aware of someone needing help, please direct them to the resources I've included below. That includes those who are at high risk of becoming the perpetrators of violence.

The loneliness topic also came across my desk this week in the form of a study quantifying the degree of loneliness in Americans today.  It was quite revealing.  Did you know, for example, that according to this 2018 study, a majority of Americans are lonely? More specifically, over 25% of us rarely or never feel understood by anyone in our lives!  I don't know about you but I'm not surprised.  As a therapist, I hear it everyday.

The study also identified what we can do to feel less lonely, so be sure to check out the suggestions.  Some of the ideas are basic.  I would also like to add that learning how NOT to feel lonely is just as important as learning any distraction techniques. After all, distraction is like a band aid, not a true 'cure'.

Truly learning how to overcome your loneliness - when you are alone or even in a crowd - is something you CAN learn.

I can help.  Want to discuss further?  Click here and set up a free, no obligation coaching consult with me at your convenience! Every person's situation is different and I respect that and can help you find your way!  


Remember…help is a phone call away.  In any crisis, if you are in immediate danger, call 911.

If you cannot call 911, proceed to the nearest Hospital Emergency Room to ask for assistance. Regardless of the type of crisis, the Emergency staff will contact whichever branch of crisis intervention service is appropriate to get you the help you need.

If you cannot locate a Hospital Emergency Room, proceed to the nearest Fire Station or nearest Police Station, where the staff will provide help and connect you with the appropriate crisis intervention service you need.

If you or someone you know is planning to harm others, please call 911.


National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (8255) - 24-hour suicide prevention hotline that is free and available to anyone who is in emotional distress or crisis.

Hopeline: 800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)

National Suicide Hotlines: 800-SUICIDE (784 2433)

SOS Teen Hotline: 800-949-0057

Grief Recovery Helpline: 800-445-4808

Domestic Violence

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-SAFE (7233), 800-787-3224 (TTY) 800-942-6908 (Spanish)

This 24/7 hotline provides crisis intervention in both English and Spanish, and referrals to local services and shelters for victims of partner or spousal abuse. Trained volunteers are available to connect people with emergency help in their own communities, including emergency services and shelters.

Domestic Violence Hotline800-829-1122

STAND Against Domestic Violence Crisis Hotline: 888-215-5555

SafeQuest Crisis Line: 866-487-7233 (4UR-SAFE)

This is a 24-hour crisis intervention line for people who are victims of relationship violence or sexual abuse. Emergency response is offered nationwide, and California residents may receive state-certified emergency shelter and other support services, free of charge.

Please note that your use of these resources assumes you've read and agreed to my terms of use.

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