How do you know you have a close relationship with yourself?


"Healing yourself is connected with healing others." - Yoko Ono 

In my last post I alluded to this idea of having a closer relationship with yourself and how that is key to getting more of what you want in your life.

I'm sure that this is not the first time you've heard this idea.

I know the idea rose to prominence in the 1960's and 1970's when we started getting 'smarter' about human and individual rights. You see, prior to then we had a 'less conscious' and more 'tribal' history as Americans, even as we pride ourselves in thinking we are the best country on the planet.

We don't realize it enough, but as we travel through this increasingly more 'rapidly evolving' time in history, we are evolving socially.  I note we are becoming more 'individuated' as individuals, much like we say teens do as they grow up.  Technology is actually driving the change.  You can go back to the 1950's, when appliances in the kitchen and laundry room starting making our lives easier.  No need to spend hours banging our just cleaned in the river clothes on a rock anymore!  We now have much more time to reflect and 'do things better'.  To actually savor this time we have.  

We aren't just 'surviving' anymore; well at least we have the potential to do things differently.  If we can stop getting stuck in old ways of thinking and socially pressuring others to 'keep doing it the same old way'.

Technology gave us the birth pill and the ability of women to have more control and freedom over their sexuality and reproductive lives.  

So when I stood up for myself (with legs shaking) back in 1979, I was very alone (at least at first, eventually when I let a person or two in on my struggle they helped), but today I have so much more inner strength and outer support from society and others, for just being me!

For thousands of years, we were so dependent on the tribe.  And the tribe ruled.  When to marry, who to marry, if to marry.  What your life's work would be.  This is all as you know, falling away.

It's not selfishness.  The 60's kids weren't lazy and spoiled.  They gave voice to an important process: individualization.  So let's look at the value of that and balance it with our tribalism.  No we don't need to give up our need for each other, however we need to 'right the scales' because there is power in letting people be who they are versus pressuring them to be someone they aren't, just to make someone else happy or less anxious or whatever.

We still have a long way to go as a culture towards giving individuals all the rights and opportunities they need to live their best life.  No, I am NOT talking about those who are living in a materialistic, consumerist frame of reference.  Folks who are satisfied with this aren't tuned into their higher selves and probably even laugh at the idea of having a 'higher self'.

But if you are reading this, you probably beg to differ.  Perhaps you've never been super consumerist but you've seen the impact of such living on families, on communities, economies and on the climate.  Perhaps you've been a materialist and you've stopped doing that because you've observed the damage it does.

Either way, you my friend, are on a healthier track.  Those of us who get it that relationships with things and careers AREN'T as fulfilling, sustainable and good for the whole as relationships with ourselves and with others know the difference.  Not that they don't have their use and importance.  But we, as a society need to get our priorities straight!

So once you've started down the path to better relationships with yourself and others you just get so jacked for living an amazing life.  I know I have. Once I slowed down to honor myself and my wants and needs more, I discovered just how much I was missing.  And it didn't cost a dime!  Well, most of the time!

I don't have anything against men, they are just as human as I am, no better or no worse, but they have been dictating too many of the terms of life here on this planet for too long.  They've shaped commerce and fields of study like the law, economics, politics and psychology and so on for too long.

The influence of women on our world - out in the world - IS sorely needed.  Too many women are just doing things the old, masculine-energy way in business still.

How have I come to think all this nonsense?  Because this is what I hear when I listen to my heart, my soul and my highest self. I believe my relationship with myself is closer than it's ever been in this life.  Other than when perhaps I was a child and didn't have language yet.

It feels so good to be in sync with my heart.  It's too beautiful to deny and too important to not share.

I am my own best friend.  And you need to be yours too!